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About leaving

When it comes to leaving, I prefer to reduce everything to a “ritual” system: the sequence of actions is very important for me, as it creates a feeling of complete control over how I will feel all day long. I understand that this is not very good, but if something falls out of this system, then the mood will be ruined for the whole day.

Every morning I start with a hot shower, which to some extent mimics the warmth and comfort of a bed. I don’t wash my face with anything other than water, I can apply a moisturizer if I see visible peeling, but I definitely spend some time with patches under the eyes: I recently started using Bioaqua patches, because they cover the entire area around the eyes, including the movable eyelid. Five minutes – and the reflection of a plump child with slits instead of eyes in the mirror gradually fades away.

In the evening, with great pleasure and inhuman diligence, I wash off the makeup, first with micellar water, and then with any ordinary wash foam. This is where the manipulations, as a rule, end: sometimes, of course, it may take it into their heads to smear themselves with clay, but this is more likely to calm the soul than the skin.

About well-being

In general, over the past few years, I have identified for myself the main points of personal care, which I try to adhere to. The main one was the “micromotivation” system – small but very pleasant moments when I feel comfortable. For example, wake up to try new blush faster; go to work to eat curd cheese with coffee while reading the news; return home to watch the episode sooner. It sounds, of course, scary – is there really nothing that pleases and motivates more? In my case, this is so far: everyone lives as he can. I also think that a healthy, long and deep twelve-hour sleep cures all diseases, because there is no time left for uncontrolled consumption of wine with something fatty-Italian aftertaste.

About makeup and appearance

I think, like many people, my passion for makeup started with an endless number of beauty videos on YouTube. At first I could not understand what I liked so much, and then I realized that it was like meditation: a close study of my face, its features and how it can change. I am fascinated by this occupation. Considering that in my day-to-day life I get by with the absolute minimum – BB cream and blush – it’s pretty hard to believe that I don’t miss the opportunity to make myself Kim Kardashian with five layers of contouring when I have a couple of hours to spare. Makeup makes it possible to awaken a certain mood in yourself. Sharp arrows make it easy to get through the worst dental interview or appointment, and with dark lipstick and blinding highlighter I can enjoy the party like Paris Hilton did in her best years.

I will not dissemble and say that I can hardly ever fully accept my appearance. My aesthetic preferences are exactly the opposite of what I see in the mirror. Periodically, there is some kind of magical state of complete self-confidence. At such moments, it doesn’t matter what you look like, energy and self-awareness are ahead of you.

About depression

The mistake that I have made for many years is blindly following the “correct” system. No one knows better than ourselves what we need. You need to allow yourself to do as you want in order to hear your real needs – it’s much easier to be happier, healthier and more satisfied with life.

When I had severe depression, I did what was necessary in order to survive: I did not leave the house, I thought a lot, wrote a lot, and one day I naturally realized that I no longer had the strength to be alone in this. This is how my telegram channel appeared, where I joked about how I wanted to die, because I understood the absurdity of the situation. By the way, it didn’t get any easier. But unexpectedly for me, others also understood my condition. Most importantly, I’m no longer ashamed of feeling this.

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