Like many others, I went from a thick yellow tonal at school through a stage of eerie perfectionism to current friendships with myself and my own appearance in my 40s. There was perfectionism in everything. I could not go outside because of the “imperfect” lipstick contour, and at home, before the arrival of guests, I cleaned everything with almost a toothbrush. I depended on someone else’s assessment: I was worried that they would judge me, laugh or think that I was a bad housewife. I remember well what helped to look at it from the outside: I would not notice in other people the shortcomings that held me down so much, or I would not attach any importance to it.
At the same time, I learned to use all kinds of means correctly, and as I accept myself, to refuse them. For example, the rejection of mascara was a revelation: I realized that it does not visually enlarge the eyes, and I don’t need it. Tones, contouring, highlighters and other puff pies on the face went to the dustbin of history. I love when the texture of the skin is visible, and when from touching my face it does not feel like I’m in a mess. It is enough for me to even out the tone a little.
Now, first of all, I listen to my feelings and desires. There is a mood every day to arrange a spa for yourself, take a bath with bombs and smear yourself with creams, and there are times when you only have the strength to brush your teeth. It is the same with decorative cosmetics: I can fall face down in a neon palette for a week, or I can not wear makeup for a month at all.
I love doing bright makeup – it’s always a creative micro-project. But it happens either on big occasions like a friend’s wedding, or when the environment is stimulating, like when I worked at VP or Sloy. Or a friend recently had a challenge and I made myself a wood elf. At the same time, there is no desire to put on makeup, for example, for a walk with friends.
I hardly experiment with cosmetics: I buy only what I need. If this is a new tool for me, then first I study all the reviews on the Internet and swatch in all types of lighting. It will give me much more satisfaction if I use something to the end than if I buy something for a fleeting joy, and then it will sit idle until the next swap, or until it expires.
In general, I strive to ensure that for each task I have one item or tool that suits me completely. So I have been walking for six years with one cosmetic bag and will start looking for a replacement only when it decomposes “into mold and lime honey.” For the same reason, I have a lot of mastheads, as they often justify themselves: if BB, then Erborian, deodorant – Vichy, tweezers – Tweezerman and so on.
All of this may sound like a purely utilitarian approach, but it’s more about surrounding yourself with objects that bring joy, a long relationship with them, and a perfect match.
Before quarantine, my daily makeup consisted of concealer, a thin layer of BB cream, and an eyebrow pencil. Only concealer for rare exits remained in quarantine, and then every other time. From care mainly washing and moisturizing. It is still a mystery to me what routine I will return to: we will only go to the office in September.
Quarantine has pushed the boundaries of experimentation with looks. For example, in the photo above, I cut myself for the first time (my husband helped with the back of my head). It turned out crooked, but fun, I liked it. After this experience, I am even more confident that hairdressing is magic.
I only go to the salons for a haircut and massage. I prefer to do the rest myself. I will definitely do a manicure for myself better than any master, and with an epilator I am more comfortable than with a stranger. Occasionally I do shellac on my feet in the salon, but it’s always stressful and a matter of luck.
In the manicure, I moved away from the monochromatic coating. I feel it on myself unnaturally, besides, it limits in everyday life: you cannot transplant flowers without chipping. A couple of times, as an experiment, I made a multi-colored uneven layered coating, which was interesting to watch: how it chipped off and transformed over time until it got bored. But now I prefer bare, well-groomed nails.